Thursday, June 11, 2009

Day 25: The List

As I mentioned way back in the beginning, 25 days ago, part of the reason I switched to a vegan diet was that I wanted to lose weight. Although my blood-work came back with outstanding test results despite the number on the scale (I still secretly think that the scales in doctors' offices are set a good 5 pounds heavier), I decided that I need to drop some mass off my frame.

Since making the switch, I've felt really pretty awesome. I've lost some weight (6 pounds), feel energized, have increased my yoga workouts, instituted a meditation practice and even started some cardio. Hurray. That one pebble thrown in the pond has cast some wide ripples. /zen

Always looking for more ways to stay motivated, I'm taking a cue from two friends who've embarked on a journey to lose a bit of themselves in order to find themselves (heh, that's hokey, but I'm keeping it), and creating a wish-list of the things I'd like to do once I'm in the shape & fitness level I've always dreamed I'd attain.

1. Take a yoga class at the local yoga center and not have to wear a tunic-sized t-shirt.

Hell, that roomy shirt always ended up down around my neck when we did the inverted positions anyway, so why bother, right? Ok, I'm not saying I'll be traipsing around, scantily-clad, in a sports bra and spandex shorts, but I do have a workout shirt with a built-in bra that would fit the bill... once I lose some of this winter padding around my waist.

I am actually planning on registering for their next session, starting June 29th, although I will not be wearing that top. I'd need to go down like two cup sizes before I'd feel comfortable wearing that in mixed company, but that's just me.

2. Take an adult ballet class.

I know, my God, I know!

I took 10 fucking years of dance when I was young, and bitched about it for, oh, about 9 of them. Once I stopped, I missed it almost immediately. I am extremely fortunate that all those years of dance gave me a good muscle base and a sense of balance as a foundation on which I can rely even now, as out of practice and shape as I am.

Still, there's no way in hell I am squeezing my ass into a leotard until I lose some body mass.

3. Take part in a mass cross-country skiing event.

Ok, it doesn't have to be the massive endurance ski across Greenland. What? Think I'm joking? Check out the Greenland Icecap Challenge:
The race distance is 550km and competitors will have a choice whether they are supported or unsupported. The route will follow an arc just above the Arctic Circle from the West to East coast. Competitors will pull their individual and team stores in sledges, sleep in tents and deal with diverse challenges such as surviving in temperatures as low as minus 30 degrees, navigating the crevasses, as well as watching out for Polar bears on the East coast.

birkieSounds exciting doesn't it? Insane, too. I bet it will be filled with men named Sven, Olle and Kjetil. I hope National Geographic will film it so I can watch it from the warmth, comfort and relative safety of my living room as I sip coffee laced with whiskey. Lykke til!

Anyway, I'm sure there must be a shorter race somewhere closer to me without the threat of plunging to one's death down glacier crevasses or being eaten by polar bears even if there will be a profound dearth of men named Sven, Olle and Kjetil. :p

Note: the event pictured above is the American Birkebeiner race, not the Greenland Icecap Challenge, which is slated for 2011.

Another note: a little extra padding is actually a plus for this event. The polar bears like that too.

4. Attend a week-long workshop at the Kripalu center

Talk about pie in the sky dreams. I'd have to sell a kidney or create the next big pyramid scheme to come up with the money for this, I think.

This place is like yoga summer camp for grownups. It's in the Berkshires, and it is literally, right on the mountain next door to Tanglewood. You can sit outside on the hill and hear the Boston Symphony Orchestra play. If that isn't a little bit of nirvana right here on earth, then I don't know what else could be. As an added bonus, it's in New England which is just the vegan icing on the cake.

5. To any of you that ever made some crack about my looks (like calling me "pudgy" or *shudder* "chunky" God, I hate that word), I will hunt you down on Facebook and haunt you with a skinny & young-looking picture friend request, only to delete you and tell you to fuck off.*

Ok, probably not, that's too bitchy & spiteful even for me, but I can sure as hell daydream about it. I mean, what else are those revenge fantasy scenarios good for if not to get that crap out of our systems so we can move on, right? Sure.

C'mon, we all indulge in those secret fantasies where the people who wronged us on the playground of Borough Elementary school when we were 8 get their comeuppance at some hazy point in the future, and all is right with the world. Right? I can't be the only crazy one here who does this...

Ok, I'll put the crazy back in the box for now. /crazy

6. Have a custom-made dress for a fancy occasion.

Sure, I have no idea what occasion that would be, I'm not exactly going to red carpet events on Viggo Mortensen's arm here in CNY, and the last time I got an invitation to take tea with the Queen was some time ago, and I'm hardly into haute couture. Frankly, I think it's a waste of money to devote to stuff which is out of style every season. That said, it would be nice to have a dress for special occasions made just to fit me, in a style that flatters my body shape, and in a fabric which I actually like.

Sadly, I am no fashionista; I would commit the high crime of fashion and wear it more than once. :p

7. Go to some fancy-schmancy resort spa for a weekend.

fish pedicureI am not a girly-girl spa girl. Shocking, no? Oh, if you could see me now, braless in a t-shirt and yoga pants with my hair twisted in a bun, you'd have no doubt. I've had 2 manicures in my entire life, rarely even paint my nails myself, have never had a professional pedicure and frankly hate spa facials because instead of leaving my skin feeling invigorated, they make my skin feel like an oil slick. Yuck. I'm 100% in favor of the hour-long massages though. Bring those on!

Nevertheless, I'd love to go to one of those places for a whole weekend and get plunked in a mud bath, wrapped in seaweed so that I look like a walking California roll, and have all the hair waxed off of me (as long as they numb me up first) and whatever else they want to throw at me... except a high colonic.

Juice fast? Yes. Gourmet macrobiotic dishes? Yes. Microdermabrasion from shelter-rescued kittens? HELL yes! Fish pedicures? WTH, why not? Enemas? Noooooooo....

Best of all would be if my GP girlfriends were there too. Now THAT would be epic.

8. Take a cross-country cycling tour.

This would involve my bringing the bike up from the spiderweb-infested depths of its corner of the basement, taking it to the local bike shop for a tuneup, actually hauling my ass onto the seat once in a while, and finding the time and money to break away from this random assortment of stream of consciousness moments I like to call a "life," but yeah, I think it'd be fun. It would be even more fun to do with a significant other, but that's making another huge assumption that I won't even address here.

Oh, but fret not, I would never, ever ride as a couple on a tandem bike! The cutesy-and-gag factor there is just too high.

9. Take the all-day horseback trip over Flattop Mountain... again

When I was 16, on a family vacation out to Colorado I went on this totally awesome trail ride from Grand Lake to Estes Park over Flattop Mountain. My sister, who was forced (by our parents, not by me) did not think that it was so cool.

Anyway, we got to the stables in Estes Park at some ungodly hour of the morning, and drove with a cowboy-looking guy whose nickname ought to have been "Slim" in a rattly truck on these terrifying switchback roads along the side of a mountain range to the Grand Lake stables where we were matched up with our trail horses. Then it was like 10 or 11 hours in the saddle as we trekked over a damned mountain back to Estes Park. Totally awesome, even if I did walk bow-legged for three days afterward.

10. Just be happy and comfortable with my body as it is.

This one might take a miracle.

Or therapy.

Or a lobotomy.

*I stole this one pretty much verbatim from Shannon. Thanks sweetie!


Allison Dickson said...

OH man... Once you have your first pedicure, you'll want to go back regularly. I had my very first one on my birthday last year, and I couldn't believe I waited that long. It's a whole experience. It's like an hour-long pampering session, and it's really good for your feet, which I think a lot of people neglect. And it's only $20 in most places. Money well spent. :)

Babs said...

I do have some DIY pedi stuff, my feet don't look like hobbit-caveman feet (at least I hope they don't...) but the idea of some stranger hacking away at my heel with a knife that has been used on other people's feet skeeves me a bit.

I have an anti-foot thing, I guess. lol

Oddly enough, the fish-pedicure doesn't gross me out as much. How weird is that?

Yep. Weird.

Shannon Loses Teh Chubbeh said...

Oh I could not do skiing! I hate HATE the cold! But I am totally down for spa time and horse back riding. :)

Babs said...

I would much rather ski than run. Running is teh debbil. I hate, hate, HATE it with the white-hot passion of a thousand burning suns.

It hurts my knees and ankles and I feel as though I have to strap my chest down with two sports bras, an ACE bandage and some duct tape just to keep things down.

X-country skiing on the other hand, is awesome: much lower impact, you don't overheat as badly, plus it's so pretty out in the Winter Wonderland! *squeee*

Yes, I just squealed. You can smack me.

My people are from the cold country, so part of it is genetic. ;-) I'm much more chipper in cold weather than in summer.

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