Day 29: "Now is the Time on Sprockets Ven Ve Dance!"

Ok, not really. In fact, in the swirling torrents of my mind right now, it actually goes something more like "Now is the time on Sprockets ven ven obsess over our veight."

Ugh. I weighed myself today, and inexplicably, I am up a pound and a half from Friday. I knew it was happening too, because I could feel the water weight accumulating over the weekend. I hate that. It makes me feel like a bloated sponge. I wish I could just wring myself dry.

What. The. Fuck?

I haven't been eating unhealthy foods, I haven't been overindulging, the portion sizes aren't gluttonous, yet *BAM* I haven't even been overdoing it on the breads, well, except for yesterday. I made my whole wheat flatbreads to accompany the cauliflower and lentil dish and had four of those; 1 "tester" straight off the griddle when I was cooking them, another to test the cauliflower dish as it was simmering and then two later on with the meal. Granted, they're small, but still. I'll have to put them in the freezer until I can sort this out.

So, how lovely, my firm resolution of the other day is basically all shot to shit, and I am now obsessing over the idea of doing this Eco-Atkins plan that's got people's tongues wagging. Basically, for two weeks I'd eliminate the carbs I do eat: the whole wheat bread, whole wheat tortillas, potatoes, grains & the occasional Guiltless Gourmet chips. Oh, and the damned vegan pancakes. I never really cared about pancakes before, I don't know where this craving came from.


Part of me really hates that I've become so scope-locked on this as primarily a weight loss issue, instead of as a healthy lifestyle & ethical change, when it's both. I guess I assumed that now that I am eating healthily (and virtuously for God's sake, I'm saving cows and pigs and chickens), the pounds should be melting off of me as quickly as they did the first time I adopted a vegan diet. I remember losing 20 pounds pretty damned quickly, but then again I am 40 now, and was 18 then. Big difference in metabolisms.

Anther option would be to go raw, which would mean no cooked or processed anything: bread, tortillas, hummus, refried beans, cooked lentils, tofu, seitan, tempeh, fake meats. Basically a lot of what I've spent money on the past three weeks at the grocery store. It's just not economically feasible to throw food out, that's throwing money out, so I'm going to say no to going totally raw. I am going to continue keeping the bulk of what I eat raw fruits and vegetables though.

So I think that for the next two weeks I'll just cut out what flour-based items I have been eating, along with the occasional rice or potato dish along with the snack indulgences and anything that might still have sugar in it, though to be honest, I haven't used white sugar in months. I'll increase the amount of protein because I've read that boosting the higher-protein plant foods might be especially helpful for vegan women looking to lose weight.

I am keeping the fruit, at least for the next two weeks. If the pounds don't start sliding off in a steady manner, then I'll see about taking the drastic step of eliminating them for two weeks.

So, a sample menu for my day on an Eco-Atkins diet would probably look something like:

Breakfast:

Monster Green Smoothie

Snack:

20 almonds
water

Snack:

apple with peanut butter
water

Lunch:

1/2 cup of hummus with 2 cups of raw vegetables: raw red bell pepper, celery, grape tomatoes
water

Snack:

1/4 cup of roasted soy nuts
water

Snack:

Celery sticks with cashew cheese
water

Dinner:

Tofu and veggie scramble
water

So, lots of raw vegetables, beans, nuts, soy and legumes for protein, plus some fruit and plenty of water. Oh, and I won't be stepping on the scale again in a while. Let's see where I am after two weeks of doing this.


Of course, getting back to the title and the sentiment Dieter's expressing in the photo to the right, you know, I really should get up and dance, or so some cardio daily. My copy of Yoga Booty Ballet beckons.

If the weather cooperates today, I will walk instead of drive to pick the kids up from school, and tomorrow is my little one's big day at the Zoo, and she made me promise to come on the field trip with her, so no doubt we'll be walking all day, plus I'll have my own bevy of kindergartners to herd.

This would all be so much easier if I had the support of a loving spouse, but yet again, one of life's big lessons is that if you don't love yourself, then really why the hell should anyone else love you? It's especially difficult in those times when you feel as though you really want to give up, but you know that you can rely on a loved-one to buck you up. Don't get me wrong, I get a ton of support from my friends, and I appreciate every bit of it, but it's a different kind of support from the type you get from someone who loves the hell out of you. So yet again, I have to suck it all up and just pull through this shit on my own. It's tiring, and kind of demoralizing after a while.

Well, enough of that Monday morning negativity.

Day 24: A Green Smoothie Addict

I can't get enough of these green smoothies. For the past 3 days I have had what I've been calling "Monster Green Smoothies" for two meals. They're "monster" because they're big and green: 24 oz of tasty greenness.

I know I ought to seek out new recipes so that I don't get tired of drinking exactly the same smoothie every morning, and I do mix it up a bit, but I stick to a base of banana and spinach. I have come to like Michael's Super Defense Food Powder quite a lot. I have some soy yogurt which I could use as a base once I run out of bananas. I think I'll hunt down some new smoothie recipes today.

Breakfast:

1 Monster Green Smoothie:

• 2 bananas
• 1/4 of a fresh pineapple
• 1 cup of water
• 1/2 cup of pineapple juice
• 1 oz of baby spinach
• 1 scoop (2 teaspoons) of Michael's Super Defense Food powder

1 glass of water
1 multivitamin, 1 flax seed oil, 1 evening primrose oil

Lunch:

Potato-veggie Tofu Scramble*
1 glass of water

Afternoon Snack:

2 glasses of water (lunch was very filling)

Dinner

1 avocado
1 tomato
3 T tomatillo salsa

ok, yes, basically, I ate a bowl of guacamole for dinner, but my GOD was it good! The ingredients were organic, and all so fresh that it didn't need the enhancement of tortilla chips (no, not even Guiltless Gourmet or my homemade ones) or tortillas. I was eating this with a spoon until I thought better of it, got up and sliced up a red bell pepper.

1 red bell pepper
2 glasses of water

Note: I didn't even eat the whole bell pepper or the entire bowl of guac.

Potato veggie Tofu Scramble

Ingredients:

• 2 medium red potatoes, diced
• 1 vidalia onion, diced
• 5 cremini mushrooms, sliced
• 1 red bell pepper, chopped
• 1/2 block of firm tofu, diced
• 1/2 oz of shredded soy cheese
• 1 tomato, diced
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1 heaping t of smoked paprika
• salt and pepper

Directions:

1. Saute potatoes and onions in a skillet that's been coated with cooking spray over high heat.


2. Cover tightly so the steam helps cook the potatoes.


3. Cook 5 minutes, then add the mushrooms, stir to coat and cover again, but stirring from time to time.


4. Once the mushrooms have released much of their liquid, add the red bell peppers, stir and cover.


5. Mix the tofu, shredded soy cheese, tomato, garlic and spices together in a bowl. Toss well.


6. When the potato has cooked through, add the tofu-cheese mixture.


7. Stir well, heating through, and serve hot.
   

Makes 2-3 servings

Food Log for the day

Breakfast:

1 cup of coffee with soy milk and stevia

1 Monster Green Smoothie:

• 2 bananas
• 1/4 of a fresh pineapple
• 1 1/2 cups of water
• 1 handful of baby spinach
• 1 scoop of Michael's Super Defense Food Powder

Morning Snack

1 piece of peanut butter toast
1 glass of water

Lunch:

2 vegan Italian sausages (Lightlife)
1 red bell pepper
1/2 vidalia onion
3/4 cup of chunky tomato sauce
2 glasses of water

Afternoon Snack#1:

1 bottle of raspberry Guayakai Yerba Mate (16 oz)

Afternoon Snack#2:

1 glass of water
2 oz Terra Stripes and Blues Chips

Wow, these are really good!

I love Terra chips; their exotic vegetable chips, like sweet potato, yucca and taro chips are outstanding. These are no exception.

Dinner:

1 monster Green Smoothie

• 2 bananas
• 1/4 of a fresh pineapple
• 1 1/2 cups of water
• 1 oz of spinach
• 1 scoop of Michael's Super Defense Food Powder

Notes:

• My earlier blog post has got me all het-up over this issue of food-activism. I'm no wide-eyed naïf (ha!) but even I, in all my jaded cynicism, was surprised by the level of corruption and greed between the U.S. government and the food industry. Before reading these books, I had actually thought that the government had more power than it does, and that there could be no way that our elected representatives would let the rights of the many (read: all of us) be outweighed by the interests of a few wallets.
  
  How revolting that it's not so.



• The girls had Tofupups for lunch. Now over the years I've bought tofupups, smart dogs or Yves's brand of meatless hot dogs more often than regular meat hot dogs, mostly because I found the idea regular of hot dogs, that is, stuffing all the leftover bits of "whatever's left and then some" to be pretty revolting.
  
  In all that time, the girls have never complained about tofu dogs tasting yucky or meaty franks being better, so there ya go. :)
  
  The way I see it, a good deal of the flavoring in any sausage is in the spices, not the particular meat. Very often sausage makers used heavy spicing to disguise what sort of meat and other stuff was inside the casing.
  


• They've been asking me for deli meats for their lunches. Now, Lightlife and Yves do make fake ham and turkey deli slices, but compared to the deli counter, it's not exactly frugal. Still, I'll see what I can do. I need to get them involved in coming up with creative lunch ideas to fill their laptop lunchbox Bento boxes.


• I have become seriously hooked on these Green Smoothies. I get so that I crave it during the day now.
  
  Wegman's had organic bananas on sale for 69¢/lb, and the regular bananas were 49¢/lb, so I bought four bunches of the organic bananas, at only 20¢ more per pound. Totally worth it. I got two containers of cored organic pineapple, and a huge 11-oz package of organic baby spinach. I've been using the smaller scoop that came with the Michael's powder and haven't felt it to be overpowering at all.
  

Day 22: More Weight Gone

Yes, more weight gone, I am down 6 pounds in total, and I know I am walking a tightrope of judgmentality here by even saying this, but it's an undeserved weight loss. I say this because this past week, I have been eating a lot of junk food, even though it's been 100% vegan junk food. I made vegan nachos three times and vegan pizza twice. Good God. Oh yeah and then there were the pancakes, which I made twice. Twice, for the love of GOD! I didn't make regular, non-vegan pancakes two times in the preceding 10 months, let alone twice in the same week! What the HELL?! What's next, deep-fried, vegan Oreos?

Also, after the catastrophe that was my post-migraine phase, my coffee consumption went back up to a pot a day from a cup a day. I need to ratchet that back down.

*deep breath* So...

• This week I start anew with the emphasis on raw fruits and vegetables first.
  



• I will begin each day with the Green Smoothie for breakfast, though I'll be reducing the amount of Michael's Super Defense Food powder, because frankly, there is just some ingredient in there that is overwhelming, and not in a yummy, good way. Sad to say, it might be the spirulina. Or perhaps it's the Atlantic Kelp, or maybe even the barley grass juice powder. Hell, I don't know, but there's something in there that is a wee bit overpowering although I do feel damned energized afterward. Actually, I just opened the container and inhaled it. I think it's the cilantro, which is odd, because I love cilantro, (unlike these people) I just don't normally add it to my drinks. So whatever, I'll just add less and see if I don't get accustomed to the taste.



• Back to vegan junk food: I'll allow myself a vegan junk food indulgence on the weekend, be it nachos, pizza or both. I've finally found a decently-melting vegan cheese: Soya Kaas makes both a mozzarella and a cheddar version in blocks so I can grate it myself.
  



• Yoga & meditation. I will commit to do one or the other, if not both, every day. I've been pretty good about it over the past 5 days.
  

There.

God, I wonder if I am the only vegan who is also struggling with an eating disorder.

The odds would suggest not. In a way, it's twice as harsh because now I have yet another thing to add to the column of self-loathing, as if general body image and food issues weren't enough, now I can add vegan ones to the mix. Huzzah. So really, one might say that I am setting myself up to be critical of myself no matter what I do. Hmm. Interesting.

Okay, I really need to break out of that mindset; it's destructive, not constructive, even if it is somewhat illuminating.


To put a positive spin on things, I have had more energy in the past 3 weeks since I started this. So despite the demon of food issues rearing his ugly head, it's been a good thing.



So getting back on track, I'll post my food log here this week:


Breakfast:

1 cup of coffee with vanilla soymilk and stevia

1 monster Green Smoothie:

• 2 organic bananas
• 1/4 of a fresh pineapple
• 1 cup of water
• 1/2 scoop of Michael's Super Defense Food Powder
• 1 handful of organic baby spinach leaves (1 oz)
  
• 2 ice cubes

Early Lunch:

Vegan & Raw Creamy Cauliflower Soup* see recipe
1 glass of water

Afternoon Snack:

1 garlic portobello mushroom burger
1 tomato
1/4 English cucumber
2 T hummus
2 T crunchy sprouts
1 glass of water

Late Afternoon Snack

1 pieces of peanut butter toast
2 glasses of water

Dinner

Monster green smoothie:

1 banana

1/4 of a fresh pineapple

1 mango

1 cup of water

1 scoop of Michael's Super Defense Food powder

*Vegan & Raw Creamy Cauliflower Soup

Ingredients:

• 1/4 of a head of cauliflower
• appr 3/4 cup raw, unsalted, organic cashews
• appr 1 - 2 cups of water
• a dash of fresh lime juice
• red curry powder
• sea salt

Directions:

1. Blend all ingredients in a blender or food processor until you reach the consistency you like.


2. Add more salt and red curry powder to taste.


3. Serve at room temperature.

This makes two fairly large servings, and is very good, though with the extremely high fiber content and the fact that cauliflower is a cruciferous vegetable, I'd suggest taking bean-o with it if you are unused to eating raw cauliflower. Also, drink plenty of water.

Day 11: An Old Demon Raises its Head

The bulimic mindset is a difficult demon to exorcise. I'll leave it at that for now. :(

Also, very, very strange dreams last night including one in which I was pregnant, but had no idea who the father could be since I hadn't had sex for a year. Also, it was Thanksgiving and I kept inviting people to dinner at my house until I realized that I was the only vegan and I had no turkey. I sent someone out to get a turkey, more people kept coming and I was running around the kitchen, frantic, because I had overextended myself.

Breakfast:

1 banana
1 cup of coffee with soymilk and stevia

Morning Snack:

leftover vegan pizza
1 glass of water

Notes:

Day 10: New Recipes Coming

I went to the grocery store yesterday and got some more veggies, fruit and a few vegetarian specialty stuff: vegan cheeses, non-dairy frozen dessert, tempeh, nutritional yeast, raw organic cashews. I've found some great-looking vegan recipes that I am dying to try out, like cashew cheese.

For today's lunch, I'd like to make a vegan cream of broccoli soup. We'll see how it goes. Also, finally, the last of the flatbread is gone. Thank god. I am totally powerless against it. The next time I make it I may have to freeze half the batch immediately so I won't be tempted to inhale it all at once.

Breakfast:

1 banana
1 cup of coffee with soymilk and stevia
1 glass of water

Morning Snack#1:

Green Smoothie

• 1 banana
• 1 mango
• 1 handful of baby spinach
• 1 cup of water
• 1 scoop of Michael's Super Defense food powder

8 almonds
small handful of raw sunflower seeds
1 glass of water

Morning Snack#2:

1 glass of water
8 grape tomatoes

Lunch:

roasted red pepper and garlic hummus and sprouts with tomato on whole grain bread
warm carob drink
1 glass of water
1/2 a tomato with hummus

Dinner:

homemade pizza with vegan cheese
3 glasses of water

Notes:

• Recipes coming up for testing: vegan creamy brocooli soup; cashew cheese


• I'll be making that carrot salad again soon.


• I've ordered laptop lunch boxes for the girls' lunches. These are basically bento boxes. The girls are excited about all the things we can put in them. My younger daughter has really wanted a Dora lunchbox, so I thought that we could personalize her by decorating the top of the box with Dora pictures.


• I wanted to test out the meltiness of the vegan cheese I bought the other day. It melted pretty well; it wasn't indistinguishable from regular mozz, but it actually looked like a typical frozen pizza when you take it out of the oven. You can still see the shape of some of the shreds. It browed well and tastes pretty good. I've heard good things about cashew cheese. Apparently it melts very well and can taste as cheesy as you want by manipulating the ingredients. Nutritional yeast is supposed to add a very realistic cheese taste.
  

Day 9: I think I've come down with something

I think that the stomach thing from the other day may have been viral. I feel a bit better than I did yesterday afternoon, but my throat is still sore. I am going to keep a focus on fruits, vegetables and lots of water today and see if that does anything.


Also, I am re-reading Fast Food Nation before I start the companion book to Food, Inc. The Food, Inc movie is coming to a city not far from me in July and I'd love to see it. When I was at the bookstore yesterday I also bought Vegan With a Vengeance and Diet for a Dead Planet. I can't wait to get into those too. There's nothing better than some good, old-fashioned muck-raking journalism!

Also on my eventual reading list are: In Defense of Food, Stolen Harvest, the Hijacking of Our Food Supply, and Slaughterhouse: The Shocking Story of Greed, Neglect, and Inhumane Treatments inside the US Meat Industry.

My reading wish-list includes several more books by Shiva Vandana and Peter Singer's writings on ethics. There's also a book on raising vegan kids that I'd like to get my hands on: That's Why We Don't eat Animals.

I've started up my subscription to Vegetarian Times and Yoga Journal. I used to get both of them a few years ago, but dropped them. I think it's time to start them up again. I'm breaking out one of my yoga tapes too.


Breakfast:

1 banana
1 cup of coffee with soy milk and stevia

Morning Snack:

Green Smoothie:

• 1 banana
• 2 rings of pineapple
• 1 oz baby spinach
• 1/4 cup of pineapple juice
• 1 cup water
• 1 scoop of Michael's Super Defense Food

Lunch:

2 flatbreads with crunchy peanut butter and sunflower seeds

Snack:

1 fresh apricot

Dinner:

1 garlic portobello veggie burger
1 tomato, 1/3 English cucumber
sprouts
gucamaole
1 glass of water

Notes:

• I really have to get back to drinking more water.

Day 8: 3 lbs lost in week 1

3 lbs gone in a week, not bad. It's not as fast as when I was on the South Beach Diet a few years ago, but this works for me too. I'm betting that it's healthier.

I was thinking some more about why I got sick yesterday, and remembered that I found an old baggie of nutritional yeast and tasted a bit to see if it was still good. I honestly couldn't tell if it had gone bad - can nutritional yeast even go bad?- but it was the only thing I'd done differently, if my stomach problem was a food poisoning issue. I remember hearing a doctor say once that the vast majority of sudden-onset stomach problems are because of some sort of food poisoning. This was nothing close to the times I had serious food poisoning when I was overseas, but it made for an unpleasant half hour last night.

Breakfast:

1 flat bread with peanut butter
1 glass of water
1 cup coffee with soy milk and stevia

Morning Snack:

Green Smoothie
2 bananas
3 rings of pineapple
2 oz baby spinach leaves
1/2 cup pineapple juice
3/4 cup water
2 T flaxseed meal

Lunch:

popcorn and water <--I went to the movies again, this time by myself :)

Afternoon Snack:

1 flatbread with guacamole, sprouts and sunflower seeds
2 glasses of water

Dinner:

2 flatbreads with peanut butter
3 glasses of water

Notes:

• I noticed when I came out of the movie theater that my throat was sore. At first I thogt it might just be from the air conditioning. A few hours later at home I realized that the glands in the roof of my mouth and my throat were all swollen hard. I began wondering if maybe the stomach upset from the previous day wasn't a viral thing that was now making its way through my system. I went to bed early.
  

Day 7: A whole week in!

7 days in and I've only had one serious craving for non-vegan food, and that was totally a stress-related craving, not a hunger one. I'm still struggling with what the best choice is for breakfast to set the stage for a good blood sugar level. Also, I think I could probably drop that one cup of coffee in the morning now if I really wanted to, going to every other day and then none at all. But I like my morning cuppa, so it stays for now until I find something better to replace it with. Yerba mate maybe.

Breakfast:

1 banana
1 glass of water
1 cup of coffee with soy milk and stevia

Morning Snack#1:

1 flatbread with crunchy peanut butter
1 glass of water

Morning Snack:#2

1 jonagold apple
1 glass of water

Lunch:

1 garlic portobello veggie burger (I seriously have to come up with a recipe for these...)
melange of roasted vegetables with avocado lime sauce*
2 glasses of water
2 handfuls of sunflower seeds

Afternoon Snack:

1 flatbread with 1T guacamole, sunflower seeds and sprouts
1 glass of water

Dinner:

1 flatbread
This was small because I got hit with an upset stomach. I can't imagine what could have caused it because I wasn't eating anything terribly different. The veggies are all fresh, and washed well.

Notes:

• I think for the next few days I will try just a single piece of fruit for breakfast and then something a bit more substantial for the morning snack.
• I am going to keep a sharp eye on carbs like bread and rice. I think that too much of even the whole wheat breads can throw my blood sugar off and start the cravings.
• I am really annoyed at Blogger lately. It's screwing up my templates. I switched to the basic one until they work out the kinks or until I can figure it out on my own.
• Ok, I think I've got the template problem squared away. We'll see.
• Unsolicited comments about the diet piss me off. If people think that they ought to be free to poke at vegetarians, then the fat-asses out there ought to be prepared for criticism of every snack cake bite that they take. Really, just mind your own business, will you?
• The other thing I've noticed just in one week as that all of a sudden people feel as though they have to justify their choice to eat meat and dairy.
  
  I'll say it again: I don't fucking care what you eat. There's no need to say, "Oh, I only eat meat occasionally. I eat mostly chicken or fish anyway."
  
  Good for you. I'm not your mom or your wife; I don't have to cook for you, you're an adult. I'm not judging you for your food choices, really. We're each of us only responsible for ourselves. When I say, "I don't care what you eat," I really, really mean it. No, really. No sarcasm at all; rare for me, I know, but there ya go. :)
  

*Melange of roasted vegetables with avocado lime sauce

Ingredients:

• 1 head of cauliflower, broken into large florets
• 2 onions, sliced thickly
• 5 large cloves of garlic, peeled, but left whole
• 1/3 red bell pepper, chopped
• 8 cherry tomatoes


• 1 avocado
• 3 cloves of garlic
• juice of one lime
• 3 T olive oil
• 1 T sunflower seeds
• cumin
• chili powder
• salt and pepper
• water

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400.
2. Spray a roasting pan with olive oil (I use a Misto pump).
3. Put the cauliflower florets in the pan and top with onion slices and garlic cloves Roast for 10 minutes.
4. Take out and add the bell pepper and cherry tomatoes. Roast for an additional 20 minutes.
5. Make the sauce by combining the avocado, garlic, lime juice, olive oil, sunflower seeds and spices in a food processor. Pulse until smooth, then add the water until you get the consistency you like.
6. Serve the sauce over the roasted vegetables.

Note on recipe: Next time I may reduce the amount of garlic or use roasted garlic instead. Also I think I'll increase the amount of sunflower seeds.

Day 6 : Refreshed

Yesterday I was cranky and irritable after the stressful meltdown I had with my kids. We had some long heart-to-hearts last night about behavior and why we act the way we do. We each pinky-swore that we were going to do out best to think about what's right. *sigh*

For me, I have to count to 10 before losing my shit. The girls though. OMG do they fight with each other over the littlest thing. They still seem to be in competition for my attention.

Anyway, I woke up feeling refreshed. We all did. I made sure we went to bed a bit earlier. I got a fan for each of us to have in our rooms, and I opened the windows. This morning everyone was more cheerful. I wasn't starving. It was like starting over with a clean slate. :)

Breakfast:

1 cup of coffee with soy milk and stevia
1 glass of water
6 almonds
1 banana

Morning Snack #1:

Green smoothie

• 2 bananas
• 1 mango
• 4 oz baby spinach
• 1 cup of water
• 3 ice cubes

Lunch:

1 garlic portobello burger
1 tomato
1/2 zucchini
1/3 large English cucumber
2 T hummus
pumpkin seeds
crunchy sprouts
alfalfa sprouts
1 glass of water

Afternoon Snack#1:

3 small spoonfuls of pb straight out of the jar
6 almonds
10 peanuts
8 dried blueberries
2 glasses of water

Afternoon Snack#2

6 peanut butter energy bites*
3 small whole wheat flatbreads
2 glasses of water

Dinner:

1 flatbread
1 glass of water

Notes:

• I sat down with the girls and watched Supersize Me with them. What they managed to understand of the movie amazed them. I'm glad. I think that they're beginning to understand why I don't want them eating fast food. I hope that they remember this movie and see why I'll say "No," to cruising through the drive through.
• I think that the next time I have them overnight, I'll suggest the next morning that we do a yoga or a workout video together. They really like it when we do something all together, and this is a good opportunity to get all three of us active together. Lucy is always picking my Turbo Jam videos and asking to do them. I keep saying no because I feel as though I'll look like a fat pig. How stupid is that?! I feel guilty for discouraging her because of some sort of pride or vanity or something. I need a bitch-slap to the head.
• I'll look into the local mega-YMCA too and see how much a family membership is and what facilities and lessons they offer.
• I got really hungry at about noon. I decided to make my homemade falafel and flatbread for dinner, but while I was waiting for the bread to rise I was craving peanut butter and whipped up the PB energy bites. Then, of course, when I was making the flatbreads, I scarfed down three right as they came off the griddle. I may do something lighter for dinner and save the falafel for tomorrow.
• Maybe I should have had the green smoothie first thing instead of waiting to eat breakfast.
• Carbs are my downfall, bread especially. A lot of fruit and vegetables tomorrow.
  

*Peanut Butter Energy Bites

I whipped up this recipe on the spur of the moment. Not bad.

1/4 cup peanut butter
1 T agave nectar
2 T sesame seeds
1/4 cup wheat germ
3 T flaxseed meal

Mix all ingredients well with a spoon and then shape them into balls and and roll them in a mixture of additional flaxseed meal and wheat germ.

Day 5: Energetic Bordering on Manic

Last night, I don't know if it was because it was a bit warmer or what, but it took forever for me to fall asleep. When I was lying in bed, wide awake at 2 am, staring at the ceiling I thought, "Oh boy am I going to be hurting tomorrow morning."

But no. I woke up at 5:30 bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, not ravenous, not dying for caffeine.

I don't get it. I'm either on the verge of a hypo-manic episode or eating healthy for 5 days has had a significant effect already!

I'll be making that carrot salad again. My older daughter requested it. I am very pleased that the girls are taking an interest in what I'm doing and deciding to give it a try themselves. They fell in love with soy milk yesterday. We'll see if a few weeks of no milk might not improve my younger daughter's stomach issues.

Breakfast:

1 slice whole-grain toast with peanut butter
1 glass of water
1 cup of coffee with soy milk and stevia

Morning Snack#1:

1/4 cup diced jicama* (see Notes)
1/2 tomato hollowed out filled with 1 T hummus
12 almonds
1 glass of water

Lunch:

1 garlic portobello burger
1/3 of red bell pepper
1 tomato
1 zucchini
crunchy sprouts
1/4 cup hummus
2 glasses water

Noon Snack:

apple
1 glass of water

Afternoon Snack:

popcorn (no butter)
1 glass of water

Dinner:

2 slices whole grain toast with pb
3 glasses of water

Late Snack:

banana

Notes:

• Man, I am hungry today! I didn't sleep very long last night, and I'm not tired, but I am hungry.
• I am also craving salt.
  
• About jicama. This has been touted as the "Mexican potato," probably thanks to the popularity of low-carb diets. I've read in several places that we can replace our craving for french fries and other potatoes with jicama. It's got a very low glycemic load, so it doesn't have the carbs to spike our blood sugar. They say you just slice it up, sprinkle a little seasoning on it and presto! Guilt-free fries!
  
  Bullshit.
  
  Now I actually like jicama; it provides a satisfactory crunch and has a light taste, but it is in no way potato-like despite its appearance. It is juicy and slightly sweet. The best way to describe it is as a cross between a water chestnut and a pear. It makes a lovely snack, but if you bite into one expecting the lovely, greasy mouth-feel and tongue-dancing saltiness that you get from fries, you'll be seriously disappointed.
• OK I know I said this earlier, but oh my GOD, I'm hungry. It's 10:50 am and I'm having my second morning snack. I wonder if this is tied to the pb toast I had for breakfast. I've also noticed that I need to keep up my water consumption.
• I have noticed that the nights I have my kids here it's a little more difficult. I get scattered and distracted when I'm running around taking care of them. The stress level is higher, and I've long known that one of my responses to stress is to cope with food.
• (6 pm)Wow, do I ever react to stress with food and food cravings. We had a busy afternoon. I took the kids to the movies and we shared a plain popcorn and had bottled water instead of soda. Everything was fine until the ride home, when they started fighting. I started yelling and immediately I craved nachos. Salty, cheesy, crunchy, greasy carb-heaven. And soda. Sweet, sweet liquid Satan. Even as I made my dinner of peanut butter toast, I knew I should be eating a salad of fresh raw veggies.
  
• (8 pm)I am sitting here, tired, cranky and irritable. I have that itchy feeling I get when I don't want anyone near me. I'm snappish still because I will get no break from the kids until tomorrow. If I were married, I could leave the room and go off by myself while my spouse took a turn with them. I have no escape. Hell, I told the kids that before I was going to make supper was going to to take a nice calming shower, and the younger kid had to come in and pester me because "I just want to be with you always, Mommy." Yes, even while I am shaving my pits. Jesus I need some locks on these doors.
• The thing is, I am not hungry at all, the craving came about as a knee-jerk reflex to my stress level going up.
• My energy level has tanked because I got so ticked off earlier.
  

Day 4 : 2 lbs gone

I stepped on the scale and I've lost a solid 2 lbs. Yay!

Ok, I can hear you now. I know it's "just water weight," people, but really, 2 lbs is 2 lbs whether it's fat from my ass or bloat from my waist. I'll take it. Don't be such a hater.

Breakfast:

Green Smoothie

• 1 1/2 bananas
• 1 medium apple
• 1 cup water
• 2 handfuls baby spinach

2 glasses water
1 multivit, 1 Evening Pr Oil, 1 flax oil, 1 fish oil

Morning Snack#1:

15 almonds
1 glass of water
1 cup of coffee with soymilk and stevia

Morning Snack#2:

Sweet and Spicy Carrot Salad Oh my, this is a good recipe!
1 glass of water

Lunch:

1 garlic and portobello veggie burger (I know, I've had these like 3 days in a row, but they're really good)
sesame and soy roasted asparagus and green onion
2 glasses of water

Afternoon Snack:

1 large apple (Jonagold) w/ peanut butter
2 glasses of water

Dinner:

Brown basmati rice & curried red lentils with cucumber and tomato (Still. What can I say? I made a bigger batch this weekend than I'd anticipated) <--I know that some carbs are trigger foods for spiking my blood sugar, but I wanted to test this out again with the rice. I ate less than I did before and got full quicker. Go figure. I did feel as though I was in a good blood sugar state today. No cravings.
1 glass of water

Notes:

• No headaches at all anymore, and the brain fog in the morning has dissipated and I've only had one cup of coffee per day for the past two days. That's a huge improvement over where I was last week!



• There's more of a spring in my step now. I don't feel that lead weight dragging me down anymore. I know that that is probably mostly mental, since I've only lost two pounds, but the enhanced energy has got to be from eating better foods



• I find that I am visualizing more. For example, my water consumption is way up, and with each glass, I imagine that it is flooding my system and washing out toxins. Now, who knows if it's actually doing anything, but I've always noticed that visualization has a huge affect on my state of mind.

Day 3: Weird dreams & thoughts on my kids

Oh my God, my dreams last night! I had a ton of food-related dreams; some people were tempting me with bags of chips. Another time, I broke down and bought a bag of potato chips, but the cashier and bagger withheld them from me since my account was flagged as a raw foodist. Weird. There were also 2 erotic dreams in there. Holy smokes.

I first woke up at 5:30 to drag the trash out to the curb, then I laid down on the couch and fell right back into the weird dreams. Then I woke up craving peanut butter and toast. No headaches today and I'm doing great on just 1 cup of coffee.


Note: 10 am: Ok. I just got back from picking up Kid#2 from school because her "tummy hurts." She said that she doesn't feel pukey, just that her stomach hurts. This kids is more of a puker than her sister. She's a huge milk drinker and a grazer, eating smaller meals, but quite often. I asked her what she'd had to eat since I saw her last and she said that they had McDonald's last night and cereal with milk this morning. I have to say I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I am tempted to pull her off drinking so much milk and see if her stomach issues don't improve. Since this is a split-household, it's hard to keep track of what the kids are eating, and I don't want this to turn into some parenting contest either, but the eating habits we have when we are kids set the stage for the rest of our lives. *sigh*

Breakfast:

1 slice whole grain toast with 1 T crunchy peanut butter
2 glasses of water
1 large cup coffee with soymilk and stevia

another glass of water

Morning Snack:

1 large apple (Jonagold, yum!) with peanut butter
1 glass of water

Lunch:

1 garlic portobello veggie burger
1 small zucchini, diced
1 medium tomato, diced
2 T hummus
1/4 cup crunchy sprouts
2 glasses water

Afternoon Snack:

2/3 of an apple
1 T peanut butter
1 glass of water

Dinner:

brown basmati rice with curried red lentils, chopped cherry tomatoes and chopped cucumber
2 glasses of water

Snack:

30 pistachios
1 glass of water

Snack:

small handful of trail mix
4 cherry tomatoes
1 glass of water

Notes:

• My hunger has leveled out, and my body has adjusted to the increase in water; I'm not running to the bathroom every 20 minutes like I was on Monday.
• I'm taking my time eating, not inhaling my food and having at least one full glass of water (10 -12 oz) with each meal.
  
• With the increased amount of raw vegetables and fruits, the food is bulkier, higher in fiber, I really feel fuller, longer.
• No headaches at all today, which is a nice change; I've had constant headaches for the past 6 months
• Ugh, me and carbs. It's only 3/4 of an hour since I finished eating the rice dish for dinner and already I am craving something. I think that the brown basmati rice is too much of a trigger for me. I need to re-read the glycemic index charts and keep choosing foods with lower GI numbers. I even added way more raw veggies than rice, but still feel the cravings. I did ok with the peanut butter toast this morning. I have eliminated all pasta from my diet; I may have to do the same with rice.
  

Day 2: Thirsty and Hungry

Well, I made it through the first day and it wasn't hard. I didn't have the insane carb-cravings I usually get at the beginning of the South Beach Diet, and to be honest, I didn't even have many carbs yesterday. The carob drink was a lovely surprise.

I also felt some spring in my step when I was out at the store. I didn't have that lead-weight feeling that has been plaguing me the past year.

I do have the headaches from detoxing as all the shit in my systems leaches out. I even had dreams about detoxing on a juice fast!

Breakfast:

Green smoothie-

• 3 bananas
• 2 rings of pineapple
• 3 oz baby spinach
• 1/4 cup pineapple juice
• 1/2 cup water

1. Put it all in a blender and mix well.
2. Drink!
3. I drank about 2/3 of that and put the rest in the fridge

This was delicious. The pineapple-banana flavor took center stage. There was no hint of the spinach's bitterness, though it was most certainly green!
1 glass water
1 multivitamin, 1 fish oil, 1 flax oil, 1 EPO
1 cup coffee, soymilk and stevia

Morning Snack#1:

Babs's Warm Carob Drink (I was really cold and wanted something warming)

Morning Snack#2:

small apple with peanut butter
1 glass water

Morning Snack#3:

1 avocado, diced
1 can Rotel tomatoes and chilies, drained
juice of 1/2 lime,
salt, pepper and chili powder
2 glasses water

Note:(10 am) I am really hungry today. Maybe I need to have something with the green smoothie, or maybe I'm doing ok eating every 1 1/2hours or so. We'll see how this plays out.

Lunch:

garlic portobello veggie burger (from Veggie Patch)
1/2 English cucumber, diced
1/3 red bell pepper, diced
1/4 cup crunchy sprouts
1 medium tomato, diced
1/4 cup of hummus

1 glass water
1 cup ginger tea

Snack:

2 TB crunchy peanut butter straight from the jar
1 glass water

Snack:

remaining 1/3 of the green smoothie

Dinner:

garlic portobello veggie burger
1/2 English cucumber, diced
1/3 red bell pepper, diced
1/4 cup crunchy sprouts
1 medium tomato, diced
1/4 cup of hummus
2 glasses water
1 Evening primrose oil capsule, 1 flax oil, 1 fish oil

Snack:

2 glasses water
1 tomato, chopped
1/4 cup of jarred salsa
1 Tb fresh lime juice

homemade corn and red pepper tortillas/crackers<--recipe still in flux

• 1 cup coarse corn meal
• 1 T salt
• 1 1/2 t chili powder
  
• 1/4 cup corn kernels
  
• 1/3 of a red bell pepper, sliced
  
• 1 T olive oil
• appr 3/4 to 1 cup very hot (near boiling) water

1. Mix together the dry ingredients in a bowl.
   
2. Put corn and bell pepper in food processor, pulse until coarsely smashed.
   
3. Add the corn and pepper mixture to the dry ingredients, drizzle the olive oil and mix well.
   
4. Slowly pour the water and mix until it is all incorporated. Spread mixture onto a greased cookie sheet and flatten with a spatula.
5. Spray the top with olive oil (I have mine in a Misto pump bottle) and sprinkle with sea salt
   
6. Cook in a preheated 425° oven for 12 minutes, then flip it, respraying and salting. Put it back in the oven for 5-7 minutes.
7. Take out and enjoy.
   

Ok, these were very, very tasty, but not quite dry and crisp. The next time I make this I may have to see if I can flatten them more, or perhaps add more dry ingredients, like more cornmeal or flaxseed meal for a drier dough. I could knead the dough with the extra meal. Perhaps I'll let them cook longer or even drop them by spoonfuls and flatten them that way instead of one large piece. The edges were browning nicely, so maybe smaller is the way to go.

Notes:

• I was quite thirsty all day
• I woke up earlier than I have been the past 8 months and I did not wake up ravenous
  
• My headaches were much less noticeable
  
• There were times that I'd get up and move around, and I felt the absence of that heavy weight tied to my waist. I actually felt lighter.
• I started out really hungry, but it leveled off by the end of the day.
• Also, I meditated for a half hour. It felt good to start that up again.
  

Day 1 : Holy Detox Hell!

I am going to post my food journal here for now as a means to keep myself motivated. I kept an online weight loss journal when I was on South Beach, and it really helped me to focus.

Breakfast:

1 medium apple with natural peanut butter
1 glass of water
1 multivitamin, fish oil, flax oil, evening primrose oil
2 cups coffee with Splenda and Silk Very Vanilla Soymilk

Morning Snack#1:

pumpkin seeds and roasted salted sunflower seeds
1 glass water
1 cup Vanilla Strawberry Rose tea, unsweetened

Morning Snack#2:

2 tomatoes, cut in half and hollowed out, filled with hummus
1 glass water

Lunch:

brown basmati rice and curried red lentils with chopped cherry tomato
1 glass water

Afternoon Snack#1:

roasted almonds and dried blueberries
1 glass water

Dinner:

2 tomatoes, hollowed out with hummus and sprouts
1 glass water

Snack:

Babs's warm carob drink (see Notes)

Late Snack:

bowl of sweet corn with herbs
1 glass water

Notes:

• I went grocery shopping today and got a ton of great produce.
  
• I also dug out my food dehydrator and juicer. I'd love to try some of the raw food recipes for the dehydrator like the veggie and flax seed crackers. I've also found several green smoothie and juice recipes that would make a good drink for breakfast.
• I'm looking forward to making my favorite cleansing juice: apple, beet, carrot, greens & ginger. It's truly delicious.
  
• I'd like to find recipes for the fruit and veggie pulp too. It's a shame to just toss it, such a good source of fiber.
  
• I had a slight headache when I woke up this morning. Yesterday I didn't have the usual amount of caffeine, so I think that's where the headache came from.
  
• I had another headache a bit later on and I remember getting them on the first day of the juice fast I did a few years ago, so that could be the body's natural response. Ironically, I did feel peppy today when I was out and about, so I think I can bear the occasional detox headache. :)
• I may try making a warm drink with soymilk and carob powder. It might make a nice pre-bedtime snack.**

**I did make it and it's very tasty!

Babs's Warm Nighttime Drink

1. Heat up some vanilla soymilk in the microwave for 90 seconds.
   
2. Take it out and add carob powder and 1 packet of stevia.
   
3. Stir well, mixing all carob powder thoroughly.
   
4. Pop it back in the microwave for 30 seconds.
5. Stir and enjoy. :)