January 14: A Food Journal Again and Thoughts on Choking

I'm keeping a food journal again to help me keep track of what I'm eating. There is just something about seeing it written down starkly - as long as I am completely honest with myself - to give me perspective on what I am putting in my body.


Thursday, January 14

Breakfast:

• Scrambled tofu with tomato, onion and carrot
• 1 10-oz. glass of water with multivitamin and 3 SlimQuick Hoodia tablets
  

Snack:

• 1 mug of authentic Korean ginger tea - Ginger is supposed to help digestive ailments.
  
  I don't know if I'm having reflux issues or what, but it's worth a try. The thought of seeing a gastroenterologist and getting scoped is enough to make me cry. I have no problem being knocked out and cut open for a surgery, but scopes skeeve me. :/


• 10:30 snack - raw apple "granola"
  
  
  • 1/2 Granny Smith, cored, but with the peel still on
    
  • 1/4 cup of oats
  • 2 heaping T raw sunflower seeds
  • 2 T almond butter
  • drizzle of agave nectar
  • pumpkin seeds
    
  • 1 T ground flax seeds
    
    Process the apple, oats and sunflower seeds until finely chopped, then add the almond butter and pulse a few times until mixed well. Top with ground flax seeds, agave and pepitas.
    
  
  
  
• 1 10-oz. glass of water

Lunch:

• Zucchini pasta and raw marinara sauce
• 1 10-oz. glass of water
  

Snack:

Dinner:

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Notes:

• I really did well with my food yesterday even despite the sour cream on my 2 bowls of lentil soup. Not vegan, I know, but I wanted it. And it was good.
  
  Two of my meals were flat-out raw: the Raw Apple Breakfast and Zucchini Pasta with Raw Marinara sauce. I made a spicy lentil soup which was vegan, but then I nixed that by topping it with a dollop of sour cream.
  
  My snacks were all vegan and raw except for the occasional mug of hot tea.
  
  Also, I drank water regularly, every few hours, every time I had something to eat. I think that really helped keep cravings under control.
  


• Something weird - last night I woke up choking on something. Before I went to bed last night it felt as though there might still be a fragment of a lentil stuck way back on the soft palate part of the roof of my mouth. Maybe I breathed it in last night and choked? Sometimes I do wake up choking on nothing but my saliva.
  
  When I woke up last night, after trying to cough it out, I got up and drank some water. Nope, didn't help. Then I got back up and had 4 whole wheat crackers with cheese and another glass of water.
  
  I can still feel something in there though and no amount of clearing my throat or coughing is helping.
  


• Something gross - I have a choking phobia. This may be a bit TMI, but one time during my last pregnancy I woke up choking on a tiny bit of vomit. I was actually choking and panicking until I could cough it out, but the acids burned my throat for days. I have only ever had problems with reflux and heartburn when I was pregnant, but maybe now that my weight is up, it's recurring?
  


• Another weird thing - I have that same sensation that everything is being forced up inside me as I had when I was pregnant during the end of the 2nd trimester and the 3rd trimester. It just feels as though there is something more in there than just my organs. I don't know, could that be just a sign that I've got too much fat hanging around in there? I mean I am nowhere near The Biggest Loser-morbidly obese, so I wouldn't think that that would be a problem.
  
  I mean, sure wouldn't it be cool to find out that there is one of those 50-lb, benign tumors loitering in my abdomen? So maybe I'm not overweight because of lack of exercise and eating too much. *sigh* I can dream, right? I'm always hoping for a Deus ex Machina, but no. My only choice to to make better choices for myself, NOT hope for some freakish medical anomaly!
  


• So anyway, it feels as though something is literally shoving things back up my throat. I am not eating a lot in one sitting (except for my 2 small bowls of soup last night), so why should I feel over-stuffed?